Faith, Motherhood & Community: How I Found My People
Faith, Motherhood & Community: How I Found My People
Let’s Talk About the Importance of Building Community—Not Just as a New Mum, but as an Army Wife!
Early on in my parenting journey, I connected with a lot of Facebook parenting groups. I spoke to so many women and began to notice a common theme: the sense of community, or the proverbial village, seemed to be disappearing among women in our generation. We’re facing a real societal shift. I often see posts saying, “What about those who don’t have a village? What then?” I was once that woman—searching for answers and a solution to how I could best manage life with little ones, all while feeling like I had an almost non-existent support system.
Let me share a few ways I pulled myself out of that rut—when I felt like I was stranded on a little island, drowning in laundry, overstimulated, and struggling to love the version of myself I had become.
1. Family or “Community” Doesn’t Have to Be Blood
Before I had children, I envisioned this big, happy extended family who’d drop everything to help—arms wide open, ready to support me at a moment’s notice. The village, as described in so many parenting books and blogs. But when my son was born, I quickly realized that wasn’t my reality. I grieved the parenting journey I thought I would have and slowly slipped into the depths of postnatal depression.
It was only when I accepted that family doesn’t have to be your village, that I began to heal. I learned to let go of the unrealistic expectation that people owed me their time, care, or support just because they were family. That’s a tough pill to swallow, I know—but it was freeing. People don’t owe you anything. They don’t have to have a relationship with you or your children. Once I truly accepted that, I was able to release the bitterness and build the beautiful, genuine community I have today.
2. Find Your People
Back in 2020, when I had my beautiful son Christian, many of my friends were already back at work, and I spent most weekdays alone within the four walls of our Sydney home. The routine became monotonous and isolating. I knew something had to change if I was going to survive this parenting thing.
So I started looking. I joined Facebook parenting groups, attended local mums' meetups, and eventually enrolled Christian in Baby Sensory classes (highly recommend!). We also went to messy play sessions at our local bowling club.
By 2022, I was co-running a mothers-and-toddlers group in Marsden Park. It was such a joy! The women were lovely, the babies were all similar in age, and the experience gave me a sense of purpose I’d been missing. Slowly but surely, I was finding my people—and I loved every minute of it.
Fast forward to 2024: life took a new (and slightly terrifying) turn when my husband decided to fulfill a lifelong dream and join the Australian Army. We packed up our house and moved to Canberra. Again, we were starting from scratch—knowing just one person here. That same fear crept back in. What would community look like now?
But I started small—getting to know my neighbours. From there, I joined a local playgroup on base, volunteered a bit, and helped facilitate a street mothers' group. I was even lovingly invited to church, and that’s where I really began to rebuild my identity and sense of community.
The lesson? Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That’s where growth happens, girlfriend! Putting yourself out there can be scary, but it is so worth it.
3. Heal for a Better You
You might not think healing and community are connected—but they are. When we carry bitterness in our hearts, it often spreads into other areas of our lives. Healing creates space for connection.
Right now, I’m doing a ‘Freedom’ course through my local church, seeing a psychologist for some deeper issues, and reading books to gain wisdom from others who’ve walked this road before me. I’m also learning how to be a better communicator—believe it or not, it really is an art!
Healing has helped me manage my household, my children, and my emotions better than ever. Since moving to Canberra, support has come in ways I never imagined—meals, laundry help, check-ins during field training, even sleep-ins from visiting guests. These gestures were organic, not requested. They came from a healed and open heart—and from being willing to receive.
4. Education Is Key
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. I once read that stay-at-home mums have higher cortisol levels than people in some of the world’s most stressful jobs! And we enter into this role blindly—no handbook, just judgment and opinions flying around like confetti.
I used to be terrified to go out alone with my kids, which made it hard to build community. But I knew I needed more tools in my parenting toolkit. One of my favourite resources is the podcast The Nurturing Parent, which you can find for free on Audible.
I also started asking women from older generations—like my mum and grandma—about their experiences. Their stories were rich with wisdom. Learn from those who’ve been through this season before you. There’s so much value in that.
5. Pray
If, like me, building community is totally outside your comfort zone and brings up fear and anxiety—pray on it. Ask God to open doors and provide opportunities to build connections. Ask Him to calm your fears and walk with you in this journey. He is faithful.
And don’t forget—prayer in numbers is powerful. If you’d like someone to pray for you, please reach out. I would be honored to stand in prayer with you.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17
Let this be your reminder: you’re not alone. Community may not look the way you imagined, but it can be even more beautiful when built intentionally. Keep showing up, keep healing, and keep reaching out. You’ve got this. 💛